talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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