It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
