carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
