Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
