I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
