I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
