she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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