YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
