Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
