so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
