i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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