Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
