I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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