apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
