you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
