I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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