I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
