oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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