addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
