I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
