she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
