A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
