I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
