There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
