It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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