I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
