Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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