I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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