If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
