i just had sex bonerless
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
