Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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