it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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