Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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