I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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