My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
