You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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