I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
