All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
