hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
