I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
