I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
