No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
