i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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