ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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