There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
