So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
