We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
