@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
