that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
