so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
