question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
