This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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