I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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