Can Purell be used as lube?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
