Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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