I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
